Big Fat Zero.

Lately I have been having these dreams where I have multiple boys chasing me (usually just two, but occasionally that number grows)... I think it's because my subconscious is trying to make up for reality. In reality the boys chasing me is a big fat zero. Like this: 0. Apparently my mind needs to boost itself up from this dismal and sad number that is in fact zero, and so my little mind makes fictional and nonfictional boys be in love with me. Apparently I have a problem and I just shared it with the world. Please don't mock me for what my subconscious does to me when I am sleeping.

Missionary Girlfriends. BEST. THING. EVER.

Lately I have taken to this group on Facebook. Seriously it is the best thing ever. If ever you are in need of a good laugh and to feel really good about yourself, I suggest joining this group on Facebook. It is called Waiting for a Missionary. These girls have taken fake pregnant pictures of themselves and sent them to their missionaries, love to wallow in their grief of their gone missionary boys, and like to plan their weddings. Oh and my personal favorite, throw hissy fits about their boy's fam. Or discuss what they should do because they have two missionary boys. BEST THING EVER! Whenever I get on that page, I feel so good at my seemingly normal and not-crazy-self. Plus these girls are really good to laugh at. So if ever you are having a downer or just need a good laugh, I recommend this page to you. Or maybe you might be one of these crazies and want to join for realsies. You have been warned. You will be laughed and mocked shamelessly (at least by me). A word of advice though, this is a private group and you have to wait for the girls that are in charge of it to accept your request to join (if you so choose to accept this mission of mockery and laughter), it took forever for them to add me, and those few days were pure torture. My laughter levels -- and therefore my health -- have increased significantly since I was able to join this group.

Poetry will be the death of me.

Poetry is dumb
It makes me inside go numb.
There are no rules,
So it can be written by all you fools.

You can do whatever the crap you want
The stupid words at night will haunt.
And people will think that you are clever,
But really it makes me want my head to sever.

Like Yoda poets talk
And Yoda we should not mock,
Nobody thinks like how poetry is written,
And you don't need to write a poem to show that you are smitten.

Unless the poem is clever or funny,
It should not be written, except perhaps for money.
Perhaps I lack Culture,
But poetry makes me want to be devoured by a vulture.

These are my thoughts on poetry,
And while I am sure you would pay to here my opinion,
My thoughts are here written, free.
If you want you can even become my minion.

School is now in session

Since it has been almost a whole month since I last blogged, I have decided that the time has come for a brand-spanking-new post. This past month has been super eventful and busy and I love it. Plus I started college again. Oh how I have missed school! Crazy I know, but when you go a semester and summer without it, you begin to miss it. Maybe that is only me though. That time definitely helped me to figure out what the heck I wanna do with my life. And now I can work towards that goal. So exciting, I know.

Work started too. I have missed those little kiddies ever so much and I love that I get to work with them yet again, I have the funniest conversations in my daily life now. Nobody has as good conversations as elementary children. 

One of my fourth graders has decided that he loves Oprah. He loves Oprah. Isn't that the most awesome thing you ever heard? His teacher has decided that she loves this little boy as well, and is having him write a friendly letter to Oprah. I asked him about it one day, wondering what sorts of things he would write to his role model, aka Oprah, and because I think that it is so funny that he loves Oprah so much. He said, "I will tell her all about how she changed my life because she taught me to be a good boy and to take responsibility and how to make choices, and then I would tell her my age and she would be amazed." (I kinda made up that quote, he said something similar to that, except the part where Oprah would be amazed was a direct quote from the mouth of little 4th grader boy). He is seriously one of my favorite people to talk too, but it is soooo hard to hold back little chuckles when he talks to you.

Oh, I love my job. It is tiring and sometimes difficult, but the really hilarious kids make it all worth it.

Summer Lovin'

The beginning of the summer Brenda and I made a list of different things that we wanted to do this summer. Work has started up again for me and so that means that summer is almost over. This is the list and I will also let you know what we did and didn't do. I will also give thoughts and feelings on the different things that we have on our list.

* will mean that we accomplished the goal that we set.

Summer Goals

• Take a pottery class* (This was so much fun and I am so glad that I got to take this class with two of my best friends. Plus now I have a whole lot of cool pots that I made now.)
• Go to the Cabin* (This was also fun, except a certain individual was also there and put a damper on our experience)
• California (we probably won't get this one done this summer. How sad)
• Make fudge* (It turned out pretty grainy, but it was a pretty good attempt for our first time of making fudge without any help)
• Cake decorating (we could still do this one...)
• HSM night (hasn't happened yet, but there is still time)
• Speed walking* (This is the bomb. I like it better then running by a whole lot)
• Triathlon (I don't really know why we set this goal, there was no chance we would do this haha)
• Swimming* (luckily I have a pool so this was easily done)
• Crocheting* (We are pro at this. Just kidding we aren't, but we did have nights were we would watch movies and crochet. It was awesome.)
• Aprons*? (I did make an apron by myself so I am not sure if this counts...)
• Drive in movies (don't worry this was planned for a group thing and unfortunately hasn't happened, but there is still time)
• Sewing* (aprons?)
• Friendship bracelets* (we did this. I still haven't finished the one that I am making though)
• Paint* (we painted shirts for the 4th of July)
• Music video (any music video made by Brenda and I would be fabulous on every level and it is a shame that we haven't crossed this one of the list)
• Learn how to do cool eye make-up (That's what Pinterest is for, right? haha)
• Go to the desert or on a hike (it's too hot)
• Job hunting (we didn't do)
• learn to dance (bahahha could never ever do that)
• Garage sale/thrift store shopping* (This is the best! I recommend this to like everyone)
• Remake something (... I don't think we have done this quite yet)
• wood construction (nope)
• Garden (nope, but I think Brenda might have a little on her own)
• Get not fat* (success!!!)
• Make paper (nope, but this would be fun to do with little kiddies)
• Go to Barnes and Nobles and learn to do something from a book (We kind of did it, but I don't think it counts)
• Calligraphy (nope)
• Bake Apple Pie (Brenda baked apple cobbler, and I ate it. Does that count?)
• Make recipe books* (We gave one of our high school friends that recently got married, a recipe book for her wedding present so I think this counts even though Brenda did it all)
• Make Protection Pouches (protection pouches are little pouches that we are going to keep with us always that are going to contain items that will protect us from mystical beings i.e. a silver bullet to save us from werewolves; wooden stake, vampires, etc.)
• Have a tea party (oh I hope we still do this. It would be amazing on so many levels) '

Although we haven't accomplished a lot of the goals that we set, we still did a lot and had so much fun doing them. Plus we also were able to accomplish a lot that isn't on our list. Overall it was quite a fun summer.

I am now an Earth Bender

I am in a ceramics class, and let me tell you. It is fabulous! I love it! Please read my list as I explain just why this class is so wonderful:
1. I am pretty sure that my teacher is gay,
2. I am doing it with my best friends,
3. My ceramics class is basically the only time that I ever see one of my best friends,
4. The weekly tradition of going to U-Swirl afterwards when we are all covered in clay is delightful,
5. My clay turned my hands orange (it looks like I tried out tanning lotion on my hands and no where else),
6. Brenda and I have learned to become one with the clay,
7. I discovered that I am a clay whisperer,
8. The unhealthy love that Brenda and I have for Avatar: The Last Air Bender series has come out to play when we decided that throwing pots is equivalent to becoming an earth bender,
9. The joy and happiness that you get when you finally finish a pot is the best! And every time that you eat out of that bowl, you (mainly I) get filled with a sense of happiness and pride.
Tuesday is my very last day of this class. But I have learned so much and I think that I am ready for a break. One day I plan on taking another ceramics class and becoming pro. If only throwing pots was an Olympic sport, it would be my goal to go to the Olympics for my ceramic skills. Also, one day I will put up pictures of us in the ceramics studio.

Just some friendly jokes.

Why was the tomato blushing?
    Because he saw the salad dressing.

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. Because then when you do criticize them you are a mile away and you have their shoes.

What were Tarzan's last words?
      Who greased the vine?

The police arrested two boys: one for drinking battery acid and the other for eating fireworks.
      They charged the one and let the other one off.

How do you catch an elephant?
      Hide in the grass and make the sound of a peanut.